I am dedicated to helping parents be their best. It’s a ripple effect, because when parents are parenting with a child’s perspective in mind it effects how child behave, feel & think. Most importantly, this style of parenting connects parents and children in love and respect! Click the link below to see what this is all about!
In the Freakishly Well Behaved Kids book, one of the parenting principles I discuss is Let’s Play. Check out this article about the benefits of parent-child play!
Just wanted to invite you to join me tonight, Monday February 18, 2019, 8pm EST, for a free facebook live event. I’ll be answering your questions about the challenges you face in play therapy.
Hope to see you!
I have some stories for you! I am so excited to share my new book . I take all I have learned as a mental health counselor, play therapist and mom and apply it to parenting.
When a loving and respectful parent-child relationship is the foundation for parenting and discipline the result is well-behaved, thoughtful, and socially conscious children.
This book focuses on what parents can do, and more importantly how they can be with their children in order to create an atmosphere where children choose pro-social behaviors. The behaviors are not created from a place of fear or even traditional discipline, but from 20 simple principles parents can implement in a variety of circumstances from infancy to young adulthood. Following these principles parents can positively impact the behavior of their children, enhance the parent-child relationship, increase their parenting-esteem, and promote lifelong relational skills in their children. The principles come from the perspectives of children, and have an inherent simplicity that is focused on the parent-child relationship. Following these child-centered principles fosters parent-child relationships based in love and respect.
Stay tuned for info on print and audio book versions.
Today is officially a month. I recognize I have been quiet the last week. There’s a reason for that. I drastically over-committed and I suffered for it. Having an entire month to reflect on, it turns out that I have learned a lot that will help me as I move forward.
It has been three months since I have had any alcohol. I have not craved it or felt like I was missing out when I was in social situations where other people were indulging; that is, until Saturday. I was at a conference with my fun play therapy colleagues. I was offered a glass of champagne (my favorite), no thank you; red wine, white wine, no thank you, not drinking; and a beer, um no. Here’s the thing, I wanted the champagne, I even wanted the wine red and/or white. What happened when I denied myself of a glass, which I think is all I would have had in this scenario, it was not good. Instead of filling my glass, I filled my belly. I ate crap I typically do not eat. I felt like ass because I ate a good deal of sugar, gluten and just too much overall. It affected me physically in the short term. It also affected my relationship with myself. I was mean to myself, that in turn affected my mood, which then affected my carb, sugar, chocolate cravings. Freaking disaster.
The last two weeks my sleep has sucked. I already discussed that. I am 100% sure at this point that if I do not address my sleep hygiene as a priority I will never be able to reach my overall wellness goals. When I am sleep deprived, I wake up in a foul mood. I skip morning workouts. I complain and feel sluggish when I do make it to my 6am workout and therefore don’t get the same feeling of pride and overall health when I complete it. It seems to me that I am hungrier than usual when I don’t sleep well and I am more interested in eating food that is quick and easy versus nutritious and consistent with my wellness goals. My focus is negatively affected. I am not on the top of my game. On the outside, I look tired, my sparkle is dimmed and there seems to be more hair in the drain. I know what I need to do. It’s time to take actions.
A Complicated Relationship
My relationship with food is complicated. It is simplified when I eat whole foods, when I prepare my meals, when I take the time to think about what I am eating before I am hungry and take the time to make yummy whole food that does not include sugar, and gluten; that is not processed; and is part of a plant-based diet. It does not have to be complicated. I make it that way, I can make it the other way.
I feel like I can seriously work on my sleep. I am 12 hours away from going on a short vacation (HOORAY). I have a new book coming out, Raising Freakishly Well-Behaved Kids in the next 90 days. I will need to care for myself while the book release kicks into gear. Writing, journaling, blogging has really helped me make sense of what I have learned and learned about myself. I am going to take a week off and then start back up. When I start back up I will be focused on Parenting, connecting the content of my new book to wellness. I am excited about that. Thanks for hanging with me.
With Love & Gratitude~
Can commitment be a bad thing?
My goodness I have not updated you in a while. It’s not because I quit on you guys (or myself) I just got really bogged down. Jack Canfield creator of the Success Principles says “Over commit, under achieve.” He’s on to something for sure! Overcommitting myself is probably related to my poor sleep hygiene, and most of the other wellness challenges I face. My sleep schedule has been terrible over the last few days and it’s not going to improve in the near future.
Here’s what wellness challenges I notice when I get over-loaded:
- My sleep goes from being awful to sucking. I have not had a night over 5 hours in several days. Dr. Gottfried says that will get in my way of focusing, choosing healthy food for nourishment, and losing (or even maintaining weight), for starters.
- I am on edge emotionally (also connected to being sleep deprived).
- Caffeine is back into my diet.
- I am hungry.
- My meditation routine is totally off (I haven’t meditated in days).
- Sleeping even an extra few minutes seemed like a better idea then working out then I get get mad at myself (and random other people) for skipping a workout.
- Sugar cravings, particularly chocolate have reemerged. I had some vegan ice cream yesterday and today.
- For whatever reason, I haven’t had enough water.
- Twice today, I said yes when I should have and wanted to say “No.”
This is what I notice. I cannot imagine what is going on inside and what the cumulative effects on my health are. It is also interesting to me that most of the consequences of overcommitting are also consequences of sleep deprivation. Vicious. Sleep is the key. I need to plan out my sleep with the same vigor I plan out my workouts, my work, even my meditation gets a slot on my calendar sometimes.
My commitment to sleep is my commitment to wellness.
It’s already after 10:30pm and I am clearly not off the screen. It would be beyond challenging to me to get this going tonight because after finishing this I have to do a few other things that HAVE to be done for tomorrow. I am also headed out of town for a conference for a few days. Hotel sleeping when sharing a room with some friend-colleagues is not really an ideal situation for me to put my plan into practice. Best start day for me is Sunday. Anyone else want to give it a try? Starting on Sunday will give me three days before I go on vacation to begin my journey to better sleep. I know that’s not a lot of time, but really I need to get started!
I have learned a lot about sleep hygiene in battling with my own insomnia, helping my clients with their insomnia and other sleep disturbances, and in the recent reading that I have done about overall health and wellness. I am a chronic hypocrite when it comes to sleep hygiene and do not even remotely practice what I preach. One thing that writing this blog has really illuminated for me, is that sleep is what stands in the way of me achieving my wellness goals. I can no longer be a hypocrite. Plus, I just shared that with you all and now I have a bunch of accountability partners (thank you!).
As I get started on what my plan is; I recognize it will look simple. I also recognize it will in NO WAY be easy.
Step away from the screen by 9:30pm.
Get ready for bed at 10:00pm. Have a cup of tea (decaf, of course), wash face, brush and floss teeth, read for 10-20 minutes.
Get in bed 10:30pm. Lights off, done for the night. *If after an hour I am struggling to sleep take a dose of magnesium and a dose of L-tryptophan.
I’ll let you know how it goes! Wish me luck!
With Love & Gratitude~
Happy St. Patrick’s Day. I am celebrating my first St. Patrick’s day in a way. I recently submitted my DNA to ancestary.com and despite any existing knowledge of my heritage, I have some Irish in me! I have been thinking about doing a more comprehensive DNA screen. Both Drs. Brogan and Gottfried discuss it in their respective books and blogs. You can get good information about your particular health profile and what you need (and what you should avoid) in order to optimize your physical and mental wellness. I am considering it, it’s pricey (and worth it?).
I decided to celebrate my first St. Patrick’s day as with Irish heritage by going for a run. I have already had enough days that were focused on beer drinking in my history that I opted out of that stereotypical part of the celebration. Plus, that would get in the way of my goals and I am determined.
My son plays basketball and my husband coaches. Most of my day, today, was attending games. I prepared my food and meditations so that I could keep both on track. I might have not eaten enough, but to be honest my appetite wasn’t there. That’s different for me. I usually have a difficult time even identifying when I am hungry and when I am not. Either way I usually eat. Today I listened to my body, today I could hear what it was saying. This may be a bit of craziness, but I think the adjustments I have been making in my diet and other wellness activities have made me more in tune and connected to my internal voice and cues. I am communicating better with myself. Anyone else experience that when they are eating better? Limiting their sugar and processed food intake?
I have a very busy week ahead starting with two full day presentations out of town and then evening activities after work. I am going to sleep by 10 tonight and waking up whenever tomorrow. No alarm for me. OH and I said “No.” I was supposed to go for a run with my running partner tomorrow morning, which is something I like to say “Yes” to, but it’s only supposed to be 15 degrees at our running time tomorrow so I said “No.” I do think I need the sleep more than the run at this point in time anyway. I really am determined to regulate my sleep.
Dr. Sara Gottfried recommends taking the supplement resveratrol. It is among the supplements she suggests in keeping a health profile that is younger than our chronological age. That’s important to me. I want to look younger then I am on the outside. I want to feel and “look” younger than I am based on what’s happen inside.
Resveratrol is a remarkable extract in red wine. According to significant amounts of clinical research this extract plays a role in cardiovascular and cellular health. You can’t just drink red wine and get the benefits because it would take at least three bottles of red wine a day to experience the effects of resveratrol extract. That seems excessive and like the negative effects of drinking three bottles of wine a day would surely out-weigh the positive effects of the resveratrol.
I am choosing this particular brand of resveratrol not just because it works to maintain cell health, promote normal cell cycle activity, promote apoptosis (programmed cell death) in unhealthy cells, support the normal activity of the SIRT-1 gene (you definitely want this), and promote cardiovascular health, by promoting healthy platelet activity, promoting vasorelaxation, and providing antioxidant protection of LDL particles, but also because of the concentration that is found in this brand.
What’s the deal with the SIRT-1 gene? Dr. Gottfried talks about the SIRT-1 gene. This gene activates a critical component of calorie restriction in mammals and promotes fat metabolization (good news). There is evidence that resveratrol mimics the effects of calorie restriction by targeting metabolic and stress response pathways affected by calorie restriction, but without restricting caloric intake, which may be helpful in promoting a longer lifespan. Healthy SIRT-1 activity, is connected to healthy mitochondrial function and energy expenditure, which is thereby connected to healthy weight promotion. Remind me why I am not taking this regularly? There’s not a good reason. I will be adding it to my morning supplements starting tomorrow. I’ll keep you posted.
With Love & Gratitude~